when to surrender .

This has just been a little bit of annoying week for me. Nothing detrimental but just a lot of work to do, money shit, and I have a major pulled muscle in my neck and shoulder. I wish I could say I pulled this muscle while exercising, which I so desperately need to do, but sadly it’s just from sleeping wonky I guess. It’s really annoying and I’m over it all. I can’t really give any of that up though and surrender because I have to work because I am not a secretly wealthy kind of person. Wouldn’t that be amazing though?! To know that you just had all this back up money so that you could spend your time doing things you were super passionate about?! ahhh dreams 🙂

Have any of you ever seen Sex and the City? It’s one of my all time favorite shows…maybe that’s what I’ll do tonight…Anyways, Miranda says at one point (don’t remember season or episode) that she is taking a break from sex. Then she admits that it’s not really of her choosing. No one is offering so she’s just not having sex. That is like how I feel with dating right now. It is really hard finding someone that I actually want to have more than 2 messages with, no less go on an actually date with them. In the beginning it was all fun and games going out with anyone that asked and I was remotely interested in….now I can’t find anyone! I am not exaggerating either. I am still on Bumble, POF (although 3 month membership is up this weekend, Christian Mingle (I wish that was up!), and recently thought why the hell not, I’ll try Match. That has not been successful AT ALL!!!

I am thinking that this is just not the right time for me. I have decided through this season of singleness (bleh I hate when people use that but I’m single so I can say cliché shit), I am going to work on improving myself. This doesn’t mean I am trying to become perfect for someone else or myself but that I want to become the best version of me, the single girl!

I am not doing this in the hopes that while I am working on myself that I will magically be matched with the perfect mate. Sure, if that happens great, but this is for me! I would hope that the person I am supposed to be with would be doing the same to make him, his best self for his own benefit. I think I mentioned this before but after my last relationship ended I didn’t recognize myself. I refuse to do that again in a future relationship! I hope you feel the same way.

So I am taking a little dating break. If I get asked out from someone I’m in to then I’ll be happy to go but if I just think they’re cute then I’m probably going to decline or not let it get to the point where they ask. I want to meet someone who I can laugh with, be friends with, and just be me with. Who’s with me?!

2 thoughts on “when to surrender .

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