let’s focus .

I came across a promoted post on Facebook today because several of my friends had liked it. I read it and it actually angered me. I am not sure if I would have read this 5 years ago if I would have felt the same way I do now, but today, I’m annoyed.

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Now let me be clear, this is not the worst thing I have ever read or even the worst thing I saw on Facebook today BUT it got a reaction out of me. You know my whole post yesterday about focusing on bettering myself for myself here, well the ways this book goes against a lot of that. I am not saying that you should never pray for your future spouse but when that becomes your focus it’s wrong!

I have mentioned before that I am a Christian and will not marry someone who isn’t a Christian. I am also a single Christian woman who could get married next year, in 5 years, or never. It’s not just up to me, the big guy upstairs has a huge say in this stuff which is not always the way I like it, buuuuttttttt, that’s how it goes.

So she starts off with calling out your relationship status. We can no longer be individuals but are defined by our relationship status or really lack thereof. She says, “It’s important to continually prepare yourself for your future spouse.” AHHHHHH, can you tell I HATE that yet?! Then it gets worse with her saying this is to “help young girls and women focus their hearts on what is important and prepare themselves for their future husband while praying for him!”

WTF?! This is what is important?! And I prepare myself for a future spouse by praying for him?!

This is really sad. I have worked with young girls for many years in the past and never once had I ever recommended praying for their future spouse. You want to know why?! It’s because that is not the focus of our lives!!!! The important part in being a Christian is focusing our attention on Christ and preparing ourselves for HIM, not a husband.

I have learned the really really hard way that focusing on the future usually  almost always, sets us up for failure. When I focused on my future and what I expected for that, guess what, I have never gotten what I thought I would. My life does not look like what I ever thought it would at 29 years old. This doesn’t mean that my life is bad or wrong and it doesn’t mean I can’t be hopeful for the future, but MY future here on earth is not supposed to be my focus. My future husband, house, kids, career, etc, should not be my focus. Christ should be my focus, and let me tell you, that is enough hard work in itself.

I am so angered by the Christian community, not all, buy many unfortunately, because they make the goal of young men and woman to find a spouse, get married, have sex and kids, as the central focus. Older women pray specifically that girls who aren’t married, find someone. What if we don’t find someone?? Does that mean your prayer for my life hasn’t been answered? What if my life with a husband is not what God has designed for me? Now, I hope that is not the case but if finding a husband was/is my central focus then I have failed myself. I have failed because it hasn’t happened. We all feel like failures with so many other things, why add this to our list.

Let’s focus, as individuals, to grow ourselves to be more loving, caring, passionate, a better friend, and literally every other way we can improve, than focus on finding “the one.” Let’s  focus on praying for our family, friends, community, and country, because God knows it needs a ton of it.

Now who’s with me?

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